reading . . . Inferno: A Novel by Dan Brown. It’s another book about Robert Langdon. I had read The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons and The Lost Symbol before but all were printed books and in Vietnamese. This time I read Inferno in English and on my Ipad. The good thing of doing this is that I can quickly check the meaning of unknown vocabularies and highlight them for reviewing later. I can easily jump from Ebook to Browser to check images of things which were described in the book. How convenient! I started to read this book some weeks ago. I only read it in my free time and when I’m in mood of reading. I read slowly and try to understand the detailed as much as I can. I read it with purposes of learning English and exploring Italian culture.
making . . . fractals with JWildfire and Mandelbulb 3D. I so love doing this. It’s fantastic to create new things and joyful to see them appear in front of my eyes the way I want them to be. Beside uploading them to my gallery on DeviantArt (so who are interested in them can order their fine art prints), I daily cross-post my collection on Instagram, Facebook and Tumblr.
watching . . . some movies which I don’t remember. I subscribed to some TED channels on Youtube. There are many interesting clips and I’ve learned many things from these lessons. Along with that I want to improve my listening skill. The speakers with different accents and styles were just awesome. And of course, as in TED philosophy, they have ideas and lessons which are worth sharing and spreading.
* I compose this entry following Stephen Chapman‘ style “This week I have been . . .”
I’m sorry for another negative entry (but it’s not really bad).
An email with an attached official letter from the Research Office of Galway Mayo Institute of Technology (Ireland) came in yesterday informing me that I was unsuccessful for the PhD application. It’s so quick! It’s just 24 hours after the interview via Skype on Monday. The letter was actually signed on Monday (There might be not many candidates attended to the interview and the assessment process was quick). In this time, I don’t blame for unluckiness because there is only one post so they have to choose the best candidate (who I think should be from Ireland or at least EU**). Through this professional process, I have a great chance to see my actual ability. Although the objectives of the project are very achievable and I think I can handle them well. However, throughout the questions from the board of five interviewers, I agree that they shouldn’t choose me. First of all, I’m so proud that my CV and motivation letter were impressed them enough so I got the call to attend the interview. Other than that, they might be dissatisfied of my speaking skill. My English speaking is just bad, I know that. Before the interview, I was nervous of course, because it was the first time I had an intercontinental interview like that, in front of many people. I was worried that I couldn’t understand their Irish accent (I actually searched for some clips on YouTube to get familiar with it). However, in the interview, I was confident and sincere enough to answer their questions, I asked them to repeat some questions I couldn’t catch or told them that I didn’t have the answer. The questions were not too difficult and I actually had the answers but I wish I could speak better. They were all about my previous experience in research, my abilities to solve problems and to contribute to the success of the project. It’s obvious that they weren’t impressed of me. Besides, I don’t have a driving license. To sum up, I lack a fluent communication skill and a strong research aptitude for handling such a four year project. Not to mention that there will be many academic tasks to do in order to finally get the PhD degree. I have to admit or I have to be sincere to myself and others that I am not able to handle such things. It’s not easy to admit that I am weak and lack of ability. However, I’m happy that I won’t struggle with difficulties I foresaw if I was chosen. It’s a lie, if I say that I wasn’t sad and disappointed when I received the email. I was but the feeling was also disappeared fast. I know that it’s just not good to hold on negative thoughts.
I was annoying of the unprofessional detail from the Research Office of GMIT that they typed my name wrong. It’s not once but three times in three different letters. It might be acceptable that they can type wrong when processing an email. However, they actually did that on the official letter. While they copied my address which is quite complex, why didn’t they just copy my full name which I think quite simple with 11 letters? After all, taking it as an antidote for me, I don’t have to work with them in the next four years. Don’t you think that it’s a good one? I do
** My colleague got a similar situation when he was called for the interview round versus a local Norwegian student. In the refusing letter, they stated that they wouldn’t proceed the interview because after considering some laboring rules, they had to give the position to the local student. It’s fair enough in such economic situation.
Another rejection letter came in today. I applied for a research assistant post in the University of Adelaide, South Australia. The project is in giant cuttlefish. Haizz! I know I have no luck this year but at least I tried my best.
I feel bitterly disappointed in myself and my job. I’m thinking of taking a turn for the better of my life. It seems I’m getting old and I feel something dramatic has started with me. At young age, everything went smoothly and I sometimes feel bored that I was too lucky. Probably, luckiness has left me and this year is of my zodiac animal, everything is going to be worse. Friends at my age have encountered unlucky things. Is it time for me to take turns?
In February, I applied for the master course in Biomedical Imaging in an university in Finland. I thought I could get an offer from the university because my background and my English are qualified for taking the course. In the rejection letter, they said that they didn’t choose me because there were too many applicants and they only can take in 30 students. I think in comparison with others my age might be a problem although they don’t restrict the age of applicants. Some countries like Germany don’t allow who are over 36 to take a master course. I’m 36 this July, I’m too old for them to teach, I think. However, they still invite me to apply for next year. In term of tuition fee, it’s free for all even international students. That’s great of Finland education system. Why shouldn’t I benefit from that by taking another chance?
Life is always hard as everyone would know but like many, I am not going to give up. I’m preparing for other chances. This disappointment will be gone. I think I am good at dealing with negativity. At least, it’s a good time for me to look into myself in order to write letters of motivation.
It’s quite long time since the last entry. I feel empty even I have a lot of things to do and I should write about them. Other than that, everything is okay for me, at least I still love making fractals. Hope I can find inspiration to keep this blog going on.